Friday, August 28, 2015

And my summer has come to an end.


I really wanted this summer to be the best summer ever. The most fascinating and fun one. Because honestly, everything seemed to be going my way.

I had good friends, good food and everything. So it just seemed that everything would be all good.

I wouldn't say I had a bad summer. It's just that I assume that everything would be sweet. But life would not let me have things all sweet. So it added a little saltiness for me. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a little saltiness. It's just adds to the taste of life and makes it more vibrant.

Anyway, the saltiness is the hard part of my summer. And the only hard part about my summer is my internship. 

To be honest, I expected it to be super awesome and amazing. I expected to love every single minute of it.
But I didn't.

Turns out, I am not a fan of the department that I'm interning in. If anything, it took all of my will to get up in the morning and go to work. I have not been so upset in a long long time.

But then again, this only shows me the importance of finding a job that you love and that you are passionate in.

But other than that, it has been a wonderful summer.

Hanging out with friends occasionally.

Eating what I want to eat.

Watching things that I want to watch.

I wish I had more time though because I didn't really get to read much. 
Even writing was not that much.

So yea.

But it has been a wonderful summer overall and I'm grateful.

And my summer of life is far from over.
So I am just going to enjoy the ride.

Let my hair down and just go where the roads takes me.

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Death Note


Well, Death Note recently came out with a new Japanese TV Drama.

Obviously, I had to go watch it.

I am a huge fan of Death Note.
Death Note is still my favourite anime of all time. I have watched so much anime in my life and so far, Death Note is still on top of that list.

But personally, I prefer the Death Note live action movie ending compared to the anime/manga. Because that ending just made more sense.

How is the new TV drama so far?

Ummm.....I'm still figuring it out.
Because they changed quite a few things about the characters from Death Note. They changed L and Light Yagami quite abit.

I'm not sure if I like that change yet.

So instead of finishing the drama, I started to rewatch the live action movies.

AND OH WOW, I MISS THE LIVE ACTION MOVIES SO MUCH.

IT IS STILL ONE OF THE BEST OUT THERE.

Death Note matters alot to me.
Because the plot and the characters are so amazing.

So yea.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Judgement Day is here.


So judgement day came.
And honestly, I surrounded myself with my fellow classmates for they are my fellow comrades in this battle.
Yes, I treat my exams like it's a battle, somewhat.

As all battles, you hear news of those who came out of it unscathed and those who don't. And my heart rejoices who came out on top and my heart goes out to those who didn't.

I wanted to surround myself with my classmates and other people who are in the same university because only they truly understand what we are going through.

Because many people would be like, oh, it's just result day. Why are you so nervous?
I literally shook as I was typing my registration number to get my results. That was how nervous I was.

Some people don't understand the implication of staring at results that summarize one year of hard work.
It's heavy.
Because it's like, all the pressure is compressed to one point.

It's like a sword of Damocles hanging. It either collapses on you if you do badly or disappears if you do well.

Anyway, how are my results?
Well, it was okay.
What matters is, I get to go to year 3.
So now, I have to focus on my next step which is, what subjects should I take. hahaha

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Judgement day is coming.


My result day is coming, hence, judgement day is coming.

I go to a very interesting university where we have one semesters a year and it's all exam based. So each subject has an exam. And that one exam decides our grades for the year.

So, the results are coming out.

To all my classmates and myself, this is a big deal.
The day where it tells you what your hardwork is worth for the entire year.

I find my university system to be pretty rough on us. 
Because we do so much work and it is not graded or seen by the system.
All that matters is how well we do for that one exam. 
In that sense, it's rather stressful.

That one day matters. It's everything. When one day becomes the basis for the hardwork for a year, it gets pretty heavy. It's like all the pressure is on one day. You feel it and you feel it hard.

And now with the results coming out, I'm sure many of my classmates are just as nervous as I am. I'm sure some even foresee their failure in some papers.

But for me, this year, eventhough I'm nervous, I'm trying to take it cool. 
I did what I can do and that was all I can do.
Whatever will be, will be.

So we'll just see what happens.
Of course, I will hope for the best.

But if I don't do so well, I'd probably be upset for a while.
But if I do well, I'd probably be celebrating.

But do know this, both triumph and failure are two sides of the same coin.

Anyway, all the best to anyone with exams or results coming out~~!

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Grateful for everything.


I been thinking about my life alot and how things are so different are.

I won't lie. Of course, I do miss my past every once in a while. I miss how carefree things were and maybe how my friends seemed more supportive because at that time, we were all free and we are just up in each other faces. So it was nice to have people to share things with.

At first, I felt a little lonely because I felt that I didn't really have anyone to share certain things. 
That was how I started to miss things.

But then again, as time passes by, things changed a bit.

I realized that I did have good friends. And honestly, I am grateful for them. This lead me to think about my life. 
In that moment, I begin to realize how good my life. So, I feel extremely grateful.

I'm having the time of my life. Learning things I love. Discovering new experiences. Hanging out with friends that I love their company.
Everything is good.

My life is only beginning and so much can happen from here on.

I know life is going to get harder because once I decide my career or figure what I need to do, it'll be hard because there will be priorities and time will be tight.

So yea.

Not everyone gets a front row seat to my life. But to those who do, they may be the unconventional bunch to get a front row seat, but I value them tremendously.

Friday, July 24, 2015

New experiences.



So many things in my life right now are new experiences.

And with so many new experiences, you only learn more about yourself.

It's never really about what happens externally but what happens internally.

Because what will happen will happen.

But what you do about it though is a different story.

Funny thing is, I'm learning more about myself each day. 

Some days feels like a struggle. 
Other days don't feel too bad.

But there is ups and downs.

Like I will be honest, my internship has been hard on me. Personally, there are moments where I prefer to be dead than to be it.
So I will admit that I am entertaining the thoughts of quitting.
Whether or not I will quit for real, that is a different story.

I know many will call me a crybaby for being a whiny piece of shit.
Maybe I am.
Maybe I am not.
I do not know.
But do not judge me.

My feelings are valid and that is what matters.

But I been in a bad mood lately. 
So things haven't been great.
However, I am so lucky. 
Whenever I have hard moments, people are there for me. 
So I am exceptionally grateful for that.

But then again, there are little moments in life that also makes everything so worth it. So I am alive and grateful for that.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Heart.

I am not sure if I'll ever regret this post. But I guess I'll post it anyway. Be warned though. It might get really lovey dovey because this is a post about love. And it might be long too. haha.


I fell in love and I am in a relationship right now.

It's funny actually how it all happened. It was a little insane. And the funny thing is, this was all completely unexpected. I did not see it coming at all. It just swept from under my feet and the next thing I know is that I am already tumbling into fate's plan.

When I first met him, all I know is that I didn't know how important he would be. People always say that you would know immediately when you meet significant other.Did I know? Yes and no, I guess. People talk about that electric zing that they had. But for me, it was not something like that at all.

If anything, it was a little odd. Even when I first met him, I felt comfortable. Very comfortable. It was as if I found home. A home that I didn't know existed. I remembered how we talked like absolutely close friends the first time we met. It was not awkward or anything. People who saw us that time would really assume that we were good old friends. I was surprised at how easy it was.

Because I have met many new people before and I have never felt that way. It's usually awkward at first and then, you slowly get used to them. That was how it always worked. But not this time. 

But honestly, I understand now why love songs are so annoyingly sweet. Because that is really how it feels. 

I never understood why girls often got clingy or jealous but for the first time I do. I used to say that I would never be that sort of girlfriend but haha, famous last words. But if you are in a healthy relationship, you wouldn't feel too clingy or jealous. The only reason you are able to feel not too clingy or jealous is because you know he is only looking at you and that's all that matters.

I'm glad that it's him. I'm glad that he's the one that has my heart because he's the sweetest, kindest and nicest person ever. I really like how thoughtful and observant he is.

But honestly, for the longest time, I thought being in love was someone was not quite possible for me. Because for the longest time, I just didn't think that anyone could love me because I was so different. I am so dynamic and crazy. I was beginning to accept that as a fact and this changes everything.

Anyway, what I want to say is, love doesn't hurt. Love is kind and it's gentle. So if it ever hurts, know one thing, get out. Because it's not suppose to hurt.

For me and him, I feel like we are in sync and on the same wavelength. It's scary really because I can be thinking something and then, he would say it and that was exactly what I was thinking.

However, we are both very aware that this could all end. But for now, we would just enjoy the right.

Oh, another thing I want to say is, love someone who makes you feel like the world. When you look into their eyes and you can see their sincerity. Love someone who only sees you and nothing else. And love them back like nothing else matters. Because when you love someone, it's not that their flaws disappear. You see it but it doesn't matter because it's them you care about.

Hopefully I can inspire and motivate him like he has to me. And that's all I wish for.