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Midnight Thoughts

As I was struggling with my own thoughts, feelings and issues, this short story came to me in an inspiration.

And it's been a while since I wrote like this so I decided to write it.

After all, as a writer, our biggest fear is probably to never write again. To run out of muse. To be void of inspiration.

So now that I have inspiration, I must use it.

So that the inspiration will keep coming.

Anyway, the short story is here. So here it is! 
Recent posts

Regrets.

I was reading a book.

And it made me think of my regrets.

I always said, live with no regrets.

Although I say that, it doesn't mean I have no regrets.
I do.
But time passes and those regrets turn into lessons.
And in a way, there's no regrets because now you know what you should or shouldn't do.

But if I could go back in time, 
what would I say to my past self?

It may or may not change things.
But atleast I said it.

I would say, 

1. Stop caring what others think.
This would be a surprise to most people who knew me because I always gave the impression that I didn't care.
But that's a blatant lie. I did care.
But I acted like I didn't care.
I acted like it didn't hurt.
But it did.
Terribly so.
But as Tyrion from Game of Thrones, I wore it like an armour. 
I didn't write because someone told me that it sucked. And true, it sucked. But practice leads to improvements. 
And my biggest regret is that I didn't write as much as I could because I cared about what they say.

2. Don&…

Design Thinking and Steve Jobs

This is going to be a long post and I apologize. 

Anyway my department meeting yesterday talked about design thinking and it only reminded me of Steve Jobs.

I have always loved Apple and Steve Jobs. I know Steve Jobs wasn't the greatest guy ever. He could have been nicer and etc. But this is not about that. This is about his vision, his beliefs and philosophy. I never quite realised how much I believed in Steve Jobs philosophy until I sat down and thought about it. 

I admired Steve Jobs philosophy of design first. I don't know if he was the first guy who made design thinking into a thing. Or if he is the one who popularize that thinking?

Minimalism. Simplicity. Clean. Aesthetics. User friendly. He made sure Apple designs abide by this. And this is what I have always loved about Apple. He made technology sexy, beautiful and cool. 

I never quite realised that I, myself, believed in these values.

But today, as I sat down and think, I realised that, the older I grow, the more I have tu…

Rift

Today, I did my taxes.
I did it online.
So all I have is the softcopy that I saved in my pendrive.

My parents told me that I should print it out.
As a young person who has kept everything in my pendrive, I literally don't get it.
So I said I wasn't going to print.
And that sparked an argument.
It was literally a pointless argument.
If only they stated their point better.
If only I was less angry.

My parents also scolded me to stop cursing.
And that annoyed me.

It's obvious that a rift is going sometimes.
A divergence in values and thought processes.

And it's going to be tiring for me.
Because I know I won't comply.
And they will want me to.
Maybe even force me.

And I hate it when they use threats to force me to comply.

And it's not a simple threat.

It's the threat of a cut in family ties.

It's always that same threat.

I hate it.

Because honestly, I do care for them.

But I have my own way of living.

I understand that they are trying to protect me.
Help me make less mistakes.

But l…

Birthday.

So today, I turn 25.
2.5 decades.
A quarter to a century.

This is going to be a long one so forgive me. Let's start.

Yesterday, a day before my birthday. I had a great time and I felt great too.
I was reading this book that someone bought me for my birthday.
As I sat and read, I definitely related to this book.

As much as I claim to be an individualistic person, I do care about my family. So when books talk about family in a warm way, it just makes me tear up.
Sophie Kinsella hit the spot with this book. With family, with career, with life, with love and everything.

I'm very much like the main character.
Wide eyed with my dreams.
I do love city and its hustle and bustle. Only difference is, I am a city girl. Born and bred.

Just like the main character, I did want my life to be "perfect".
I didn't like ugly raw things.
But I learnt that it isn't real life.

Real life is messy. Real life gets ugly. Real life gets rough. Real life is filled with tears. But real life is also fi…

My work

I haven't updated my blog recently.
Sorry for that.
I been a little tired lately so it makes me lazy to blog. haha.
Terrible reason, I know.
But it's the truth.

Anyhow, my bosses recently had a talk with me.

The first talk a few weeks back was, she thinks I was doing well and coping well. I like that. That's good. 

The second talk, she's glad that I have a good attitude but she wishes that I speak up more.

The third talk, she feels I'm ready for some more harder work, she still wishes that I speak up more or ask more questions when I need help.

To be honest, I can't tell if it's good or bad.
I do feel like shit sometimes because I feel like I could be better or asked better questions.
But hey, we are humans.

So I accept that I don't know alot.
And I just accept that I'm here to learn so learn I shall. 

To be honest, the more I work, the more I realise, wow, I don't know anything.
It's a little crazy.
I feel incompetent.
But this is good.
It means I will get t…

Some thoughts in my head.

I sat in a cafe with my drink in hand, reading a book that my younger self would have enjoyed.

It's those usual chick flick sort of books. 

The girl who lives in a shit apartment with an okay job. But she's glad anyway because she is now in the city and in a way, she feels like she has arrived.  

When I was 10 years younger, reading these books only made me feel like, wow, what an exciting life.
Yes, she hasn't arrived yet. But atleast she's on the way to where she wants to be.
I wished I was her.
I wished my life has begun. 

Now, 10 years forward.
I still read these kind of books and have a good laugh.

10 years forward, and I can relate to these characters. Heck, I'm the same age as the characters or even older. 

To be honest, if you look at it, not much has really changed with my life.
I still live in the same house.
I still live in the same city.

Only one thing has really changed.
I have started on the journey on my life.

I am building my life now, brick by brick.

And it does e…