Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Pretend there is a title because I can't come up with anything good.

I was hanging out with some friends the other day and we were talking.

A friend loves photography and thus believes having a professional camera makes a photographer better.

But another friend argued that the phone camera's quality are so good now that they can rival professional camera's.

The photography friend got a little mad, stating that there is a difference taking pictures with professional camera and phone camera. That professional camera has a better feel to it.

I thought about it.

And for some reason, it made me think of writing.

There are writers who love the typewriter because it has a really vintage cool feel to it.
There are writers who love the computers or laptop because it's easy.
There are writers who love pen and paper because you can feel yourself work and you can see the words really coming together.
There are writers who love writing on their phones because they are busy and it's convenient.

But which apparatus makes a writer better? Which apparatus makes a better writing?
And the answer is none.

Just like photography, it doesn't matter what camera you use.
I think what matters is whether you love it or not and enjoy it or not.

If you don't like taking pictures, you can have the best camera and it doesn't mean thing. 
A camera doesn't make you a photographer.
Your photography makes you a photographer.

Just like having a pen and paper doesn't mean you are a writer.
Your writing makes you a writer.

And that is that.

Thursday, July 17, 2014


I just feel so happy.

I feel like I am in anime heaven.


Because the anime for this summer line up is SO FREAKING AWESOME.

There is just so many good anime this summer.



I am crying tears of joy right now.

Friday, July 4, 2014


It's July. 
And that means, it's camp nanowrimo time.

What is camp nanowrimo?
It is just a time where you spend one month where you write 50000 words.
It's a month where you create a novel and finish it.
A novelling month.

It's the same as nanowrimo.
Only difference is that, it is July which is in summer.
So that is why they call it camp nanowrimo, like it's a summer camp~!

Anyhow, thank you to those who voted and helped me decide which story I should write for this camp nanowrimo.

Xerxes won. 
So I will be writing about him.

Anyhow, I love writing.
Writing feels like meditating to me.
It gives me a peace of mind.

When I write, be it a diary or a story,
I feel like my mind calms down alot.
I feel like everything suddenly becomes silent and clear.

And then, suddenly makes sense.

I just started writing on Xerxes story and even though it has been hard starting because I really don't know how to start.
It's been good.
I can feel the story churning and I am actually having fun despite the slow wordcount. 

Writing is good for me and I like it.

But what amazes the most when I write sometimes is,
when you let the story take over and just let it flow.
The story takes you to amazing places.
You write things that you never thought was possible.

Like recently,
I just wrote a lullaby for little Xerxes.
And wow, I never knew I had that in me.
So yea.

Cheers to writing.
And may this be a good writing month~!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Grey's Anatomy

I don't usually talk about TV series but for this time, I must.
So please, forgive me. (This might be a very long post. So consider yourself warned.)

Grey's Anatomy.
It's has been running for 10 seasons.

I started watching this series when I was 14. Now, I am 21. I been watching this series for 7 years.
This series means a lot to me.

When I was 14, I had a really rough time.
And Grey's Anatomy was one of those things that helped me hold on.
I remember when I used to rush home from school to catch this series on TV.

When this series started, it blew my mind away.
It was a series about a bunch of intern doctors and their lives. 
But what mattered to me in this series were that the characters here were very human.
They got mad, they cried, they laughed and they danced.

Yes, there was a lot of sleeping around in this series but I pushed that to one corner because that was not what matters.
What matters was that this characters were very real. 
Their lives were a complete mess.

This series showed me that life will bring you down sometimes.
It will hurt.
And you will break.
But that's not what matters.
What matters is that you will heal.
You will get better.
You will carry on.

And that was a very important message to me.
I was a little suicidal at 14 and this kept me holding on.
The fact that things will get better.
Looking at Meredith Grey and knowing that her life sucks a lot more. 
If she can hold on, then, so can I.

A few years later, this series kinda started to suck.
But I continued watching because I love this series.

And season 10 came.
Let me just say, season 10 reminded me of the Grey's Anatomy that I love.
Season 10 was beautiful.

Season 10 reminded me why I love Grey's Anatomy.

It's the characters.
They are very real.

Like Christina Yang.
She's ambitious, driven and she know what she wants.
She have dreams and goals.
And she goes towards them with a fire.
She is self confidence because she knows she is good and she is at the top.

I find it good to see a character so driven and strong.
Especially a female character.
I know that with female empowerment lately, there are many great strong female characters. 
But this character was here before that female empowerment thing.

It's hard to see a female character who will stand her ground and fight for she wants.
And seeing her makes me feel that it was possible to achieve anything.

Her character is harsh, blunt and asshole-ish.
But it's alright.
It's great to see that people don't try to make her more of a lady and that people just accepts that this is what she is.
It makes me feel comfortable in my own skin.

I have always looked up to Christina.
Because she struts around, knowing that she's the best.

But what I really love about Christina is that she decided she won't sacrifice her career for anything.
She doesn't want to have children ever.
And I am so glad that she stuck through this decision.
It says so much.

It says that girls can be career powerhouse, without caring about having children.
Because how many times have we watched female characters who are hungry and thirsty in their career give it all up for their children and family.

How many times have we watched female characters saying that the family is what matters and it's not a sacrifice. 

It'st just something that has to be done because that is the right thing.


Because if you want children, good for you.
If you want to focus on family, then, good for you.
But let that be your decision.

Do not compromise.
Do not give up on your dreams ever.

How many times have we watched powerful female characters who are bosses but their personal life are shit or that they regretting not spending time with their family.

So I am just glad that Christina Yang does none of that.

But we also have Meredith.
Who decides to have a family.

And it's alright.
It's great too.

What I really like is that, this has to be choice of the female character.

I like that they aren't doing it because society tells them so.

You want female empowerment?

Because here, the female characters are just as tough, loud and asshole-ish as the males.

And the best part is, that they do find true love. (sometimes but true love isn't all that important here)

In Season 10, Christina Yang leaves the series.
And it makes me kinda sad.

Seeing her leave, breaks my heart.
But it also goes to show that everyone needs to move forward in their life.
And change is always scary.

We can sit back and be scared.
Or just go forward, thinking that it would be the time of our life.
I love that.

Most of all, seeing how Meredith is so strong to tell Christina to go because Christina deserves so much better than what their hospital is giving has made me feel so touched.
Meredith has grown so much
And so has Christina. 

Their friendship was so beautiful.
I actually cried.
Real tears.
I feel a connection to both Meredith and Christina.

And seeing Christina leave feels like this is the end and yet the beginning.
The end of a chapter.
And a beginning of a new one.

But what I really love is when Christina tells Meredith that she is a great surgeon.
And that as much as her husband, Derek is a great guy.
The person that is really important is Meredith.

I cried like a baby when Christina said that.
And it made Meredith stand up for herself.
That she wanted to stay in Seattle Grace (I know it's Grey-Sloan Memorial now but whatever) and focus on her portal vein research.

She was standing up for herself because her research is as important as Derek's.
And I like that.

You come first, no matter what.

Anyhow, now that season 10 has ended and Christina has left the series.

I really wonder if I should stop watching Grey's Anatomy.

I mean, season 10 was great.
I should probably leave on a great note rather than watch it descend into an ugly hell.

Plus, I should probably move on.
After all, this series saved my life once but now, I need to move on because it just feels like it's time.
Like I am ready to leave them.
I am strong enough now.

So yea.

(told you this was a long post. hehehe)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Writing Conflict.

It's time to write since I am on break but I do not know which story I should write.

At first, I thought I should write out the stories that are the oldest and completed.
And right now, that story is a love story about Laura & Nathan. 
Laura & Nathan story has been completed and it's my oldest story (it's 6-7 years old).
I am so happy to have this story to be written because it is about time.

However, another story, Xerxes is being completely annoying because it keeps popping up begging me to write it.
It keeps popping up in my head, pushing Laura & Nathan to a corner.
Xerxes is crying and pleading for me to write it.

BUT it's really not his turn because it's only 4 years old and it's story is half finished.

I keep telling him to stop and wait in line because once Laura & Nathan is over, it will be it's turn.
But no...... he doesn't want to wait.
He keeps shouting, crying and begging.

And I almost want to just write about him so that I can make him happy.

But it's Laura & Nathan's turn.

So I am really confused and conflicted.


Anyhow, what do you guys think? 
Maybe you can help me by voting on this poll that I have below here.

Which story should I write?
Laura & Nathan
Poll Maker

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My life

I been catching up with my friends lately and I am so happy to hear how great they are. 
It surprises me how much has changed since I last saw them.

And then, they ask me, "How am I? How are things?"
I realized that all I can say is "I'm fine."

I don't have stories to tell.
There is no drama in my life.
Everything is going relatively well.
I go to classes and enjoy my classes.
I watch what I like to watch and enjoy it.
I read what I read and enjoy it.

Point is, I do what I do and I enjoy it.
And everything is going well.

And so, I just find it interesting I have no stories to tell about my life.
It's very simple.

But the most important thing is that I feel happy.
And I do.
It's like there's a certain kind of inner peace.

So yea.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Rotting in my house.

The summer break has began.
And I'm bored.

I want to do things but I don't know what to do.

I am trying to do the things on my list and so far, only three has been fulfilled.
But I want to do more things.

Well, don't worry,
I'll slowly figure things out.