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Damn it!!!

Have you ever wanted something so badly,
That you threw everything you had a side,
Even if that meant for you to,
Break all your promises,
Hurt your friends,
Forget your family,
Have you done that??
And when you thought you achieved it,
Life gives you a 360 degree harsh turn,
In the end,
You achieved nothing,
Losing everything you had...

Have you ever had this feeling?? Did you ever do this before??
I thought I had this dream in my hands...but it slipped easily & so fast.
Now, I am left with nothing...nothing...

crying angel Pictures, Images and Photos
I really cried hard, last night when I found out that this dream slipped away so easily.

I'm not hurt by the rejection...that's not the problem!! But could this dream broke earlier, before I sacrificed so many things??
I sacrificed so many many things!

Did you know how much it hurts to break your very own damn promise. I don't break's against my principles!! But I broke a damn promise for this dream!
I hurt both my friends & family...I hurt them all for the sake of this meaningless pursuit of this broken dream!!

Crying Pictures, Images and Photos
Did you know how much it hurts to see someone you cared for cry in front of you?
And the reason they were crying was your fault!!

Now, what am I to do?? My goal haven't been achieved. And I broke so many hearts of people that I cared.
Damn...what should I do?
How will achieve my goal now?
What should I do to fix the broken hearts?

Now, I just want to sit in the corner & die in my sorrows...
girl crying Pictures, Images and Photos
Somebody kill me...kill me...Let me juz die...Let me fall into the empty pit of sorrows...


All dreams come and go.
I wished some dreams that I had never existed because in the end it was a waste of time.
But you're still just a kid (and so am I, so don't get the wrong idea) and this stuff happens all the time to EVERYONE.

Wishing yourself to die isn't going to help one bit, you know? Right now, I think you should try to rebuild your relationships to the ones that you love and earn their trust again.
Oh, and to fix those broken hearts- I guess you should say how much your are sorry, first!
And maybe ask if there's anything to repay.
.SuWee. said…
you dont sound like the carmen the cheerful and crazy carmen that i know.
maybe i have not know the other side of you yet.

i will not be on9 for this few days tough.
for now, well, find a way to cheer up girl!
i have got this are not alone lo.

reli, going for what you want is not wrong at all.reli.

maybe what yo had been trough, you had paid it with a price, a very big amount.
and by using this big amount you chased for your dream. but in the end, you found out the that dream had brought nothing but damage.

its not the end of the world tough.
i have got that sometimes.
If you look back, it may all be just memories,
and just an expeirience itself.

and this experience may help you alot in the future. and maybe from this "fall" itself you had learn something. and that something could be ever more usefull for you in the future.

what i am saying is that, you dint lose everything.and you may had already gain something from this experience itself.

until then,
i hope the things up there did helped you.
and i beleive that you know its time to get back up and move on,yes?

Cheer up.
Anonymous said…
Ka-chan~~ *hugs tightly*
*smiles* I won't say much, you know I will always be there for you~ So does Rushi~

Good luck & always remember~~ Dreams are your aim but the process will benefit you more than your dreams, even if you didn't acheive it~

Anonymous said…
*smiles* Thank you for all the supportive comment~~!!

To Su wee..
I am still the crazy & cheerful Carmen but then again, I can't always be cheerful. That wud be damn scary. Yea, I guess itz time to move on.

To Jun-chan,
Arigatou ne, and if you need me...I too will be by your side. *hugs back*

To Kowaomote,
Thanx 4 ur comment!! It really helped. Well, things are better now~~!
Sam said…

Don't easy think bad things ...
Die is no use and stupid .. nothing will be changeall if you die.
Life is full of excited.
In our life we will facing problem feel down and feel happy because if our life just like a line only .......
Life will just a die line .... nothing happen at all !!

You are still young, i also still young (26 years old also young ... just oldest that you all only).
Life still got many things to learn, share, apprentice.
Got sad experience means you will become stronger, understand more, know more.

No people will everytime success to end because we are human.
Human is not prefect so need learn from misatake.


Wish you understand.
Happy and heathly forever.

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