Who gives a damn?

I'm tired of giving a damn or rather listening and taking other people's crap. I'm tired of hearing what I can't do. I'm tired of hearing people restricting me using their words. I'm tired of people demotivating me or just saying how lame I am. I'm tired of people labelling and calling me names. I'm just so tired.

I used to think that I never cared but I was wrong. I did care. I did take in what they say. I did believe in what they say and I was stopping myself. I was stopping myself from improving myself. Their words were like chains. Chains that bind me. Slowly, these chains began to stop me and I just stopped doing things I liked because I feared about what others have said about it.



But not anymore, I'm not going to let that stop me. These chains that bind me, I'm going to break free and I'm going to what I like. And guess what, I don't care what they say anymore. I really don't. I'm going to break free and do the things I love.



And yea, I'm not going to give a damn anyway. And yea, who gives a damn anyway? So I really don't care anymore. So from today onwards, you can say what you like but I'm not going to give a damn.



So yea, 2010 is a new year and a new me is coming to town. Well, not new but a better and improved me. (Gosh, I sound like a product.) So, watch out~~!!

But if you really have things to say that might be able to help me or improve myself, then, maybe I'll give a damn. But I'll only give a damn if it makes sense.

And yes, I'm honestly a little emo. I think like an emo sometimes...(sometimes, not all the time.)

Noël Mémoire

Bon Noel, everyone. That is how the French wud say it. Noël Mémoire is french for Christmas Memory.



Christmas is the season of giving...(and presents.) So like any Christmas, I got some pretty nice presents. Nowadays, Christmas is a little different from when I was younger. Nowadays, we go to our cousin's house on chrismas eve to exchange presents. When I was younger, it was just a celebration between me and family. Sadly, this year, we have no christmas tree because our christmas tree was ruined last year.

I remember when I was younger, Christmas felt more magical. And Christmas was the only time of the year, my family went to church for their midnight mass. Anyhow, even when I was a kid, I knew Santa didn't exist and it was my parents who bought me lovely presents. My parents also were very honest about Santa being a fake.

We played Christmas songs and sang to them. Every night, I would stare at the glittering Christmas Tree. The lights would shimmer at night, when all the lights in the house was switched off. The Christmas Tree would just look & feel so damn special.



See, it does look so special, doesn't it?



*sigh* Can you believe my annoying cousins actually opened their Christmas Presents before Christmas, on Christmas Eve to be exact. But can you believe they opened it? You are NOT suppose to touch your presents until Christmas. Can't they wait?

I remember that my parents didn't allow me to open my christmas presents until it was christmas day, after we have eaten our breakfast. And I remember tearing those wrappers away like a monster. Hehe..
But point is, can't my stupid cousins wait? And their parents allow that? *sigh* Christmas...it's getting different every year and I wished I could turn back the clock to relive my younger Christmas days.

Tribute to AKLTG

I just came back from coaching the SK and IAG camps. And yeah, I was coaching back to back camps. I was so tired when I came back. I even slept 14 hours straight. Hehe... Like I said earlier, these are my last camps and honestly, I feel sad.

Coaching SK and IAG reminded me why I loved coaching so much. I loved coaching because I loved seeing the changes for the better in a person. Being a coach is not easy. You get to sleep extra late, wake up early, eat less, rush around and you have to control your state which is not easy.

In SK, the kids there were quite nice but then again, not all were nice. My assistant coach was Yi Jean and she was quite good. She helped me out at times and because I have been solo coaching for so damn long, I kinda forgot how to share tasks with another coach. Nonetheless, SK ended awesomely. And the feedback I got were pretty nice. The PD said that I had alot of passion.

In IAG, it was slightly different. At first, I was intimidated. I mean, all the old awesome coaches were back like Josie, Marcus and never forget, the legendary Mark. But later, I modelled Mark & Webster so that I could be a better coach. Well, I would say I did a pretty good job.

At Day 1, I got pretty lousy feedbacks because I think I sucked during the swinging log. Well, it's been a long time since I coached IAG so I kinda forgotten what to do or say during swinging log. Cal Vin said that I was like an assistant coach instead of a coach. At first, I felt insulted and pissed. I'm a coach not an assistant coach. But later, I looked for a solution but none came so I just went to bed saying that I will know what to do tomorrow and guess what, it worked. I did know what to do tomorrow. Natalie said that Yvonne(my assistant coach) and I had low energy level so we should raise that energy level. I was sleepy so...it was not easy to stay awake at 3am and be at a high energy level.

At Day 3, I got stung by some stupid insect and bloody hell, my thigh hurts a hell lot. And during that time, I had to kick the log for a participant and the same time, ask questions. So it was hard to focus on anything when my thigh hurts. Suddenly, Yvonne, my assistant coach, decided to ask questions which was my job. I didn't mind because my leg hurt so I just focused on kicking the log and letting her do the rest. Well, thank god, she had great timing that saved my ass. Honestly, I don't think I could ask questions and kick the log while my leg hurts.

I think Yvonne and I did a great job. I really hope Yvonne will be coach the next round. And I think IAG ended with a bang. After all this wonderful experience, it makes even harder to retire. Heck, maybe, I might coach next year but then again, I'm not too sure because I did say I am retiring. I love coaching and coaching is just an awesome thing to behold. Coaching is not for everyone yet anyone can coach.

At the final day, the feedback I got were pretty nice. For an example, Joey said that my swinging log was done quite well because the tonality and the words I used were sharp and real. He said I improved a hell lot. Cal Vin said that I gave the impression that I will do whatever it takes for my participants while Gary said that he was happy to see me as a coach (I was his assistant coach once upon a long time ago)

All those good feedbacks makes it even harder to retire. And to hear that Melvin will be coaching next year, makes me wanna coach next year too. So maybe I'll really retire but then again, I might just return and coach again.

Coaching and AKLTG is a part of my life so it's not so easy to just retire. I've been with AKLTG since I was 12 years old and today I'm 16. See how many years that is.

"Coaching is not just for a programme, coaching is for life" -Webster Ku-
"Coaching is not a job, coaching is a way of life." -Anonymous-

So even if I do retire, it doesn't mean I'm not a coach. I am a coach and I forever will be one no matter what. Just that I won't coach participants but instead, myself and friends.


Right now, I'm a little emo because I haven't had breakfast. *searches breakfast*