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the ceremony.

Honestly, I did not expect to enjoy it. 
I only went, to take my certificate.

It felt weird to sit there.

Personally, I didn't feel like I deserved it. I did good but not great. Not fantastic. Not something that deserved to be called a high achiever. Not me. Maybe, someone smarter but not me.

But then again, a few days ago, I decided that I would go to the ceremony for myself and for those who tried their best but still tasted the bitter taste of defeat.

I wanted to be proud of myself. I wanted those who cried to still be able to be proud of themselves. I wanted to know that everything would be alright, no matter what.

And so, I went.

True, I saw so many people who did their best and their hard work paid off.
And then, I saw equally, just as many, those who did their best but still did not get what they deserve.

But then, the principal made a speech that made sense. 
This is not the end.
There is so much more to come.

And he was right.
This is only the beginning of something new.
What has happened, has happened.
It's the past.
And now, we have to look forward to the future.
Even though the past wasn't exactly great, as long as we did our best, we can walk with our heads held high into the future.

He was proud of us and hoped that we would achieve more.

And if he can be proud. If the college can be proud.

I don't see why I can't be proud myself.

So, here is my trophy.

There's a weird feeling about it.

There's a part of me that still feels that I don't deserve it.
But at the same time, this is the only trophy I have since primary school days.
It's the first and only award I have received.
So, there's a sense of pride at the same time.
Because I have never ever received a single award or trophy in secondary school.

It's weird.

But this trophy is also for everyone that cried the tears of disappointment, pain and sadness despite doing their best.

Anyhow, dreams are eternal. I want to believe that.

I also did something dumb today. 
Apply for a scholarship. 
Obviously, I may not get it since there are so many smarter people than me.

So why do I fight a losing battle?
Because I can.
I prefer to say that I tried rather than not trying at all.

So go live.
Go fight for what you believe for.
Fight for your dreams.
Don't ever give up.

Dreams never die.


Happy "Sam" said…
Just one word for you !!
You can do it !!

may be people said you lucky !!
may be people said this and that !!
But you get it !!!

Work hard on it !!
May be cannot get anythings !!
But I can tell you !
Nothings will happen if you keep siting and wait !!

100% you got do somethings on it !!

Proud for you !!
文儀 said…
i like the sentence dreams ar eternal...same there, still a part of me doesnt feel like i actually deserve it.
Chelsea said…
Congrats on your award. ^^ I'm proud.

Applying for a scholarship isn't dumb. Its dumb to not even try. Besides, its not all results they;re looking for. I wish you all the best. *hugs*
Hui Min said…
haha..yup, we must do the "I can't believe I did that."

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