Skip to main content

Ghosts of the past.

Ah, the power of words.
Everyone would think that a writer, of all people, would know its' power.
I thought I knew.
But I didn't.

Words that I wrote from a long, long time ago are coming back to haunt me.
And I guess, it burns.

I don't feel the need to apologize for those words though.
No.
Because at that time, it was how I felt.
And yes, maybe, it was bad.
But it was how I felt.
I am not going to pretend these feelings didn't exist.
Because the last time I did, it turned out badly.
If you feel the need to talk about it, come to me.
But if you don't, then, it's alright.

I am not going to lie.
I do not miss my childhood friends.
But I don't hate them either.

However, I am tired.
Tired of trying so hard, only to get burned.
Tired of helping, only to get stabbed.

But it also makes me sad.
Because I wished that we did not have a falling out.
Sadly, we did.

And as my other friends said, what is done is done.
Now, I have to move on.
And so do they.


Comments

Happy "Sam" said…
^_^

London bridge is falling down !!
Every time we sing !!

The bridge still there !!
hehe !!

Don't worry !!
Life is like that ~
^_^
文儀 said…
there is a saying, recovery only comes if we are dare to not cover it.

we escape from the pain frequently especially when we don't think that we are strong enough to handle it then we try to hide it under the carpet.

when we are forced to face it, and when we no longer feel burn to look at it,something is only meant to be recognised but not to solve it.

Recognition is the best solution to the past, pain and hurt.
Anonymous said…
so true. Recognition is the best solution to the past, pain, hurt and regrets.

Popular posts from this blog

Much Ado About Our Healthcare

During this week, something terrible but hilarious when you looked back, happened to me.

It was a normal Monday morning. It was close to the end of the month, so I was awaiting for my salary to come in. I was just trying to just hold on till the end of the month. Typical monday. Nothing eventful yet.

Then, it was lunchtime.
I went to lunch with my colleagues.
I ordered myself a lovely nasi kukus with ikan keli. That means steamed rice with catfish for those of you who don't read malay. 

One of my colleague often order this and it always looked good so I decided to give it a try.

Bad mistake.

I ended up having a fishbone stuck in my throat. When you think of it, it's pretty silly. But it scared the living daylights out of me at that moment. I tried swallowing rice to push the fishbone down but after half a bowl later, I found it to be not working.

I heard from my dad when I was younger that, if a fishbone get stuck in your throat, you had to do an operation. And that only fueled my fea…

Design Thinking and Steve Jobs

This is going to be a long post and I apologize. 

Anyway my department meeting yesterday talked about design thinking and it only reminded me of Steve Jobs.

I have always loved Apple and Steve Jobs. I know Steve Jobs wasn't the greatest guy ever. He could have been nicer and etc. But this is not about that. This is about his vision, his beliefs and philosophy. I never quite realised how much I believed in Steve Jobs philosophy until I sat down and thought about it. 

I admired Steve Jobs philosophy of design first. I don't know if he was the first guy who made design thinking into a thing. Or if he is the one who popularize that thinking?

Minimalism. Simplicity. Clean. Aesthetics. User friendly. He made sure Apple designs abide by this. And this is what I have always loved about Apple. He made technology sexy, beautiful and cool. 

I never quite realised that I, myself, believed in these values.

But today, as I sat down and think, I realised that, the older I grow, the more I have tu…

Dear me,

I watched an anime where a girl managed to write a letter to her past self of ten years. True, that's not possible in reality but the concept of that is interesting. She wrote to her ten years younger self to avoid her regrets. She wanted her past self to change certain decisions in the past so that her current self won't have any regrets.

Personally, I wouldn't want to tell my past self to change her decisions to avoid regrets. Do I have regrets? Yes. But I won't change them because I learnt from them. And that has been grow as a person. So I don't quite regret that.

However, if I could write a letter to my past self, it would be fun. If I were to write to my ten years younger self, that would be my 13 year old self. And this is what I would love to say.

Dear me,

Hello there. This is your 23 year old self. I know, it's unbelievable. You can barely imagine yourself at that age currently. 
I still remember being 13. Vaguely. My memory isn't that great.

But I remem…