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Staring at your past self.



I found this song randomly on the internet.
And I found that I really like it.

I couldn't exactly pin point why I like it at first.
And then, through, the lyrics, I suddenly saw why.

Funnily enough, this song managed to say exactly how I felt in the past.
A long time ago.
It was so long ago, that even I almost forgot about it.

This song says exactly how I used to feel.
It's weird though.
It's so long ago.
And this song seems to be stirring something old and odd in me.

I can't quite make it out.
I been listening to it non-stop, hoping that it will inspire me or something.
Because this song makes me feel like inspiration is coming.
But at the same time, I can't help that inspiration won't come from this song.

If anything, maybe, this song is just reminding me how I used my old ugly dark emotions as an inspiration.
This song makes me want to write about something dark but sadly, I am no longer at that part of my life so I can't write something dark.

Other than that, this song makes me feel like I'm staring right at my past self.
I can see her.
I can see her, hiding herself.
I can see her, angry and afraid.
I can see her, being absolutely tired.

It's weird. I'm staring right at her and I ask myself, if I could really see my past self, what would say to her?

I end up, feeling like I have nothing to say because I know that she would need to go through all of that pain.
I know that life would be painful at times to her and she will make ugly mistakes that she will regret in the future.
But I do not want to correct her at all.
Because she needs them in order to grow and get better.

But I also want her to know that things will get better.
Life would be unexpected and she may not get what she wants.
But life would be beautiful and she'll be happy at the end of the day.

So in the end, if I do get to see my past self, I'll most probably just smile and say, "Enjoy every moment. Good and bad."

Vague advice? Maybe. But that will be what I want to say to her.

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