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Showing posts from April, 2016

Body positive.

One good thing I really like about exercising so far is feeling very body positive. 

To be honest, for me, feeling body positive is a nice thing. Maybe because in my past, which was during my high school period, I didn't have much body positive feelings.

I always believed that the body is a temple and we should care for it.
And honestly, exercising and eating healthy does that.

But it's only recently that I made exercise part of a regime so I am only feeling the effects now.

I actually feel really good about my body. I feel healthy and I feel great. I love that.

Back in high school, people didn't say nice things about my body. They said terrible things about my hair, my teeth, my lips and so many things.

Even though what they say actually shouldn't matter, but their words slowly drip into my mind, staining it completely. Hence they contributed to the negative feelings I have of my body.

So there was a moment in my life where I really didn't like what I see in the mirror. B…

My biggest fear.

One of my goals is to be more real and raw. To discuss how I feel so I am going to do that with this post.

What is my biggest fear?

Honestly, my biggest fear is to turn out like Gatsby from the book, The Great Gatsby. 

What do I mean by that?

Gatsby is literally me. As in, he is ambitious, idealistic and wants so much more than he can ever have. He is so willing to chase what he wants that he is able to forget his past and where he comes from. He can even delude himself into thinking that he is somehow "the chosen one" or "the son of god".

I am all of those above as well.

Yes, I have loads of dreams and I am absolutely idealistic.

I think the danger of Gatsby is that he is really good at deluding himself.

And I realise that I have this talent too. I can easily close my eyes and ignore that the world is on fire if I have to.

As I read Great Gatsby, I cried because it was just so sad. It was sad how he craved people's acknowledgement and how that led it to his demise.

And …

Birthday~!

Well, today I turned 23 year old.

It's kinda surreal.

Simply because I don't feel older.
I don't feel the years.

I just feel like me.

And that's all.

But this year, there isn't really a birthday celebration. I'm completely okay with that.
I'm not the type to care about one anyway.

However, whenever people messaged me or called me to wish me birthday, I do truly feel touched. Because it means they care and think of me.
So thank you.

I truly do have great friends and family.

Stress and Retail therapy.

Well, with a month left on the clock to my exams. It's getting a little stressful. But the crappy thing about me is that the more stressed I get, the more I have to destress which is not really good. Because I really do need to focus on my studies.

I don't know why but lately, I started to go online shopping. 

I bought some stuff online. But that's alright because I do need those stuff.

When you are busy and can't really go out to buy stuff, online shopping is a life saver.

Honestly, I have never been a shopping person. 
I never found comfort in retail therapy unlike some girls.

To be honest, I have found shopping really annoying.
Mostly because I can't afford it and I can't find stuff that I like. 

Somehow, recently, I started looking at smartwatches. (I think I really like gadgets. hahaha)

I wanted something that would tell the time, tell me my steps, the calories I burned and give me notifications from my phone.

At first I looked at Fitbits and they were expensive.
The…