Showing posts from May, 2016

Memory lane.

When my last paper for my degree final exam ended, my friend and I went back to our old college to collect our Alevels certificate. My friend and I never took it in the past.

To be honest, I was already having a pretty tough time dealing with the fact the moment my exams end, my student degree life has ended.
Because I know that I will miss this life.

I will miss my friends.
I will miss studying hard.
I will miss having a sense camaraderie with my friends.
I will miss aiming for the stars for my grades.
I will miss doing my best.

And it's over. It's sad.

Soon, real life will knock on my door. I would think about my career. 

And going back to my old college where I did my Alevels on the day my degree ends hits me quite hard.

To know that this part of my life is over.

But at the same time, going back to my old college didn't feel too bad. 
Staring at the building, only reminds how I used to come here every day.
Passing by the canteen, only reminds me how my friends and I used to eat here …

Raw Past.

This post might be long, raw and real. Just a warning. I just heard songs and it reminded of my past. Or rather, what I used to be.

The song talked about having anger. I remember having loads of anger when I was younger. I never quite understood it. It's not like I had a bad family. I didn't and they love me and everything.
But anger was real.
It was like there was a fire in my chest. 
I was just angry.

And honestly, I hated being angry. Because that is when I would make the most stupid decision. I have always regretted every decision I made in anger.

I never understood why I had so much anger.
Anger was like my primary emotion. I didn't get sad when people hurt me. I get angry. Anything happens, anger would come out. 

And in this world, it seemed like anger was a bad emotion. So I hated myself for having so much of it. For not being able to control it. When I was younger, anger was like fire. It only spread everywhere and I watched it burn. I could do nothing to stop it.

It's …

The thing about having only one exam as a method of evaluation.

This might be a long post but this is just a tiny rant. I been keeping this rant in me for some time now. But now that my finals have arrived, I decided to rant this out.

My course only has one exam as a method of evaluation. One exam per subject. No assignments. No presentations. Just one exam.

Some people think, wow, that's amazing. You guys can slack all year long and then study like a month or two before the exams. What an amazingly easy course. 

Obviously, this makes me mad.
Because it's not easy.
And no, you can't slack all year long then study a month or two before the exams. If you do that, you will fail. Trust me.

Having one exam is tough. It truly is.
Our syllabus is long and deep. 
We can spend a whole year studying it and yet, when it comes to the exam day, we aren't quite sure if we are fully prepared.
But the crazy thing, if you asks us when we will ever be prepared? I don't think we ever would be. So we just take it in our stride and go for our exams.

One exam…