Skip to main content

The thing about having only one exam as a method of evaluation.

This might be a long post but this is just a tiny rant. I been keeping this rant in me for some time now. But now that my finals have arrived, I decided to rant this out.

My course only has one exam as a method of evaluation. One exam per subject. No assignments. No presentations. Just one exam.

Some people think, wow, that's amazing. You guys can slack all year long and then study like a month or two before the exams. What an amazingly easy course. 

Obviously, this makes me mad.
Because it's not easy.
And no, you can't slack all year long then study a month or two before the exams. If you do that, you will fail. Trust me.

Having one exam is tough. It truly is.
Our syllabus is long and deep. 
We can spend a whole year studying it and yet, when it comes to the exam day, we aren't quite sure if we are fully prepared.
But the crazy thing, if you asks us when we will ever be prepared? I don't think we ever would be. So we just take it in our stride and go for our exams.

One exam is tough because you have to plan your own studies. You are on your own. No one to tell you to study. No one to tell you what your progress is. No signs of how well you are doing or how bad you are doing. You just have to do it and hope for the best.

If there are no lecturers or no good lecturers, you have to self study. So that means pacing yourself. Setting your own schedule and following it.

Then, there is the stress levels. Because somedays, you will wake up and you will completely overwhelmed. You will feel like there's too much to study and it's too hard. You will feel like you can't do it. 
But somehow, you will have to pull yourself together. 
You have to remember to breathe and just do it.

You will feel alone because it's the subject matter and you.
And if you are lucky, you will have great friends by your side who are studying the same course as you and they will be your support. They will be your reminder that you can carry on.

You will learn about yourself. On how discipline you are. On how you handle your stress levels. 

This course will test you. Stretch you and push you. 

You will ask yourself why you are doing this. And you will remember why you are doing this.

The thing about having only one exam is that there is no one to tell you how you are doing and if what you are doing is the right thing.

And you only have one day to prove that you been studying all year long. One year worth of work put on one day. It's heavy and harsh and unfair.

You can study consistently through out the year. And all it takes is a cold, or a fever or the fact that you let your nerves take over you that it paralyzes you on the exam day. Just like that, your grade will go down the train. 

That's tremendous stress right there.

The exam itself is tremendous stress. You stare at the question paper. Your biggest fear would be that you are unable to answer anything because the examiners decided to go crazy hard that year.

The exam tests on how you handle yourself in tremendous stress. It also tests your time management. 

And then, you leave the exam hall, hoping that what you have done would be enough. 

So no. One exam only is not easy and no you can't slack all year.

But the rewarding thing about my course is, it gives you immense confidence. You know you are the best out there. You know you can stand tall. You know you can take pressure. You know you can handle yourself in insane situation. And you know you are intelligent and worth it. 
Because you did this. And if you can survive this, you can survive anything. 

So this is also a reminder to me that I can do this. I just need to breathe and keep calm.


Popular posts from this blog

Much Ado About Our Healthcare

During this week, something terrible but hilarious when you looked back, happened to me.

It was a normal Monday morning. It was close to the end of the month, so I was awaiting for my salary to come in. I was just trying to just hold on till the end of the month. Typical monday. Nothing eventful yet.

Then, it was lunchtime.
I went to lunch with my colleagues.
I ordered myself a lovely nasi kukus with ikan keli. That means steamed rice with catfish for those of you who don't read malay. 

One of my colleague often order this and it always looked good so I decided to give it a try.

Bad mistake.

I ended up having a fishbone stuck in my throat. When you think of it, it's pretty silly. But it scared the living daylights out of me at that moment. I tried swallowing rice to push the fishbone down but after half a bowl later, I found it to be not working.

I heard from my dad when I was younger that, if a fishbone get stuck in your throat, you had to do an operation. And that only fueled my fea…

An open letter to the scared and confused dreamers.

This is a letter for myself. But this is also a letter for those who find themselves in the same place as I am.

I'm going to admit that life is different from what I initially thought when I was younger.

When I was younger, I assumed that by now, I would have reached or be somewhat close to the life of my dreams.

But now that I reach this point, I realised that I was wrong. I did not take into account that tertiary education took years. Personally, I don't regret my tertiary education because I did enjoy it. Yes, it was insane and difficult but it was fun and I met amazing people there.

It's been a year since my graduation and I find myself being frustrated. I felt disappointed in myself because no, I don't have my own apartment and no, I'm not rocking that cool ass job that I always  dreamed of. But no, I don't hate my job either. In that sense, I'm fortunate I suppose. But I feel that it may not be the kind of thing that I want to do.

However, for me, to get t…

Design Thinking and Steve Jobs

This is going to be a long post and I apologize. 

Anyway my department meeting yesterday talked about design thinking and it only reminded me of Steve Jobs.

I have always loved Apple and Steve Jobs. I know Steve Jobs wasn't the greatest guy ever. He could have been nicer and etc. But this is not about that. This is about his vision, his beliefs and philosophy. I never quite realised how much I believed in Steve Jobs philosophy until I sat down and thought about it. 

I admired Steve Jobs philosophy of design first. I don't know if he was the first guy who made design thinking into a thing. Or if he is the one who popularize that thinking?

Minimalism. Simplicity. Clean. Aesthetics. User friendly. He made sure Apple designs abide by this. And this is what I have always loved about Apple. He made technology sexy, beautiful and cool. 

I never quite realised that I, myself, believed in these values.

But today, as I sat down and think, I realised that, the older I grow, the more I have tu…