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Showing posts from July, 2016

Again.

Just when things keeps going up and I think it was impossible for things to a turn that I didn't like.
And it just did.

Maybe this is a lesson to me, that no matter how much you grow, mistakes will still be made. 

But for me, I am just disappointed in myself. This mistakes feels like I'm back to square one. It's as if all the progress have been wiped out. It's feels like I'm back there. 

I know that I will always struggle with expression and holding my tongue. That will always be a problem of mine. Maybe it's a mistake to even use a social media device as a place to unload all your thoughts. I have always done it and it has caused some problems for me even in the past. 
But I guess, like people said, bad habits die hard. Especially when you start to rely on it to allow yourself to sort out your own thoughts or to let it go.

I am aware that I will have to accept and live with the consequences. I get that.

But I am just severely disappointed with myself. 

A long time ago…

Dear me,

I watched an anime where a girl managed to write a letter to her past self of ten years. True, that's not possible in reality but the concept of that is interesting. She wrote to her ten years younger self to avoid her regrets. She wanted her past self to change certain decisions in the past so that her current self won't have any regrets.

Personally, I wouldn't want to tell my past self to change her decisions to avoid regrets. Do I have regrets? Yes. But I won't change them because I learnt from them. And that has been grow as a person. So I don't quite regret that.

However, if I could write a letter to my past self, it would be fun. If I were to write to my ten years younger self, that would be my 13 year old self. And this is what I would love to say.

Dear me,

Hello there. This is your 23 year old self. I know, it's unbelievable. You can barely imagine yourself at that age currently. 
I still remember being 13. Vaguely. My memory isn't that great.

But I remem…

First Job

I just got my first job.  It's a new phase of my life.
At first, I was a little sad because well, I know I will miss university. I had such a great time in university. I was studying what I love, it was challenging and I had great friends there. All in all, it was awesome. One of the best times of my life. Truly.
To move on to a new phase of life after having such a great one, well, I am a little reluctant.
But the crazy thing about life is that it changes whether you like it or not. The sands shifts beneath your feet and time inches forward. And everything is different now. Whether you like it or not.
My university friends have also gotten jobs. We are already slowly moving on. The clock is ticking, moving forward whether or not I want it to. 
Watching them get jobs makes me realize that everything is changing now. It's changing. And I have to change with the times too.
Anyway, I just started work. Everyone there is nice and friendly. I like that. The working environment seems kind.…