Skip to main content

Dear me,

I watched an anime where a girl managed to write a letter to her past self of ten years. True, that's not possible in reality but the concept of that is interesting. She wrote to her ten years younger self to avoid her regrets. She wanted her past self to change certain decisions in the past so that her current self won't have any regrets.

Personally, I wouldn't want to tell my past self to change her decisions to avoid regrets. Do I have regrets? Yes. But I won't change them because I learnt from them. And that has been grow as a person. So I don't quite regret that.

However, if I could write a letter to my past self, it would be fun. If I were to write to my ten years younger self, that would be my 13 year old self. And this is what I would love to say.

Dear me,

Hello there. This is your 23 year old self. I know, it's unbelievable. You can barely imagine yourself at that age currently. 
I still remember being 13. Vaguely. My memory isn't that great.

But I remember you being excited for high school because you get to go to a bigger school. You finally feel like you are at school because your primary school was small and tiny. I still remember you entering your class, feeling brand new. I remember people praising you for being smart because you managed to make it into the top classes. But I also remember you treating that as a lie because you always felt like luck brought you here instead.

I also remember that you couldn't wait to grow up. You have so many dreams, hopes and aspirations. Did any of them come true? Wouldn't you like to know? All I can say is yes and no. 

So much will happen to you. You will hurt and cry but you will also smile and laugh. You will feel the extreme ends of both happiness and sadness. 
The good moments will be beyond your wildest dreams.
And the bad moments would be a shock to your system. 

But either way, you will grow from all of it. You will get better. You will grow into a better person. I may be 10 years older than you but even I'm not done growing yet. I'm still growing myself. 

I don't want to spoil you much on your own life because it wouldn't be fair as I didn't get any spoilers. Do I want spoilers though? No. I want to get my life path, on my own.

All I can say is, you're young. You're innocent. You're the rawness of it all. You are the metal before an armour or sword is made. So much potential but it's not pushed or used yet.

I remember you being eager to take on the world. Proclaiming that the world would be yours. You felt ready to face the world. This is something I love about you. I wish you remember this feeling. Remember your promise to yourself of how the world is yours. Because tough things will happen and you will, sometimes, forget that you are made of steel. You will sometimes forget that once, you promised yourself the world. 

You're kind but naive. Yes, I know you hate being called that. But at this age, that is the truth. I say naive because you think well of everything and that no harm will come to you. That's not quite true. Bad or mean things can happen even if you were kind all these while. You help and you give so much away. Nothing wrong with that. I don't regret this. I just wish that you remember to take care of yourself once in a while. 

As for your dreams, yes, let's talk about your favourite thing. Dreams. Oh, how you love them. You dream of the stars, sun and moon. You dream and dream. At this stage, you think you know you want. You think you know what you want your life to be. Truth is, at 23, I can't claim to know. But those dreams that you dream your life to be, those are still my dreams. That much, haven't change.

Do I still want that amazing ass apartment? Yes.
Do I still want that great job that gives you an office that has a wonderful view of the city? Also still yes.
Do I still love Ikea? Yes, I still do. People will hate me for that opinion. 

I know you are probably thinking, at 23, shouldn't I have all that by now? Excuse me, but no. Surprising as it is, I just graduated. Yup, I went to university. What did I study? Not telling you. 

But I will tell you that I enjoyed it. I will tell you that being university has been amazing and eye opening. You know, those dreams you have of university, where you go to library and study hard? Or when you learn well, let me just say, those dreams came true. 

Like I said earlier, so much would happen to you soon. 
You will find good friends. You will make mistakes. You will have fun. You will cry. You will hurt. You will change your entire life around.

Just remember this though,
You are stronger than you think.
You are made of steel. You are fire. There is a flame in you. Learn to control that. 
You weren't wrong. The world is yours for the taking. Whether or not you want it. Whether or not you are willing to work for it. Now, that's your choice.

You think you know so much right now. But honestly, not really. You know alot more than alot of people. But you do not know everything. So yea.

I miss being at your age. Innocent and pure. No, don't worry, the world didn't taint me. It's not why I miss your age. But I miss your age because I am untouched by both extreme sadness or joy. Up till now, you have been relatively happy which is a good thing. 

But don't worry, I enjoy my age too. I feel like life just started. There is much that I still don't know. I don't know if you got that amazing apartment or that great job. I don't know if you'll live the life of your dreams at 40 or 50 years old. I don't know what the future holds. But right now, everything seems good.

Your life is going to be interesting. But at the end of the day, it will be worth it. It feels worth it now. 

One day, you will be a person that you can be proud of.
One day, you will be living the life of your dreams.
It will happen.
And when it does, you will be stricken with a sense of surrealism. 

All in all, you will live the life of your dreams. Well, not the dreams you have currently. But something even better. Something that you can't even imagine. I'm definitely hyping you up, aren't I? I shouldn't say anymore. 
Remember that it takes both happiness and sadness to make a life.

However, there is one thing that I do worry about. It's our souls. We are like Gatsby you know. Ah, you don't know who is Gatsby yet. One day, you will read that book and your heart will get broken. That story will haunt you. Because that story is our truth. It shows what people like us are. People like us are like Gatsby. We are both a blessing and a curse. Learn to use that well. 

All in all, you will enjoy this ride of yours that you call life. There is still alot more to look forward to even at 23. So you have so much more to look forward to. There will be good and bad so just try to ride it out. 
Remember to always live your life.

This will all be worth it. 


Anonymous said…
Ikea is the bomb okay? :) I am with you there.
Happy "Sam" said…
wow !!
I cannot ...
I normally is plan for my future 10 years !
What i want !!
hehe !!

Slowly and get it !

But not bad you can write your past 10 years !!
Anythings I done !!
I also will not regret !!!
Because nothings can U turn if past !!
So I very alert when do anythings !!
Mistake I done !!
I learn and improve it !!

But I got one things to share with you !!
See this blog !!
Got chance and time see it !!
Then i ask you some question.

Popular posts from this blog

Much Ado About Our Healthcare

During this week, something terrible but hilarious when you looked back, happened to me.

It was a normal Monday morning. It was close to the end of the month, so I was awaiting for my salary to come in. I was just trying to just hold on till the end of the month. Typical monday. Nothing eventful yet.

Then, it was lunchtime.
I went to lunch with my colleagues.
I ordered myself a lovely nasi kukus with ikan keli. That means steamed rice with catfish for those of you who don't read malay. 

One of my colleague often order this and it always looked good so I decided to give it a try.

Bad mistake.

I ended up having a fishbone stuck in my throat. When you think of it, it's pretty silly. But it scared the living daylights out of me at that moment. I tried swallowing rice to push the fishbone down but after half a bowl later, I found it to be not working.

I heard from my dad when I was younger that, if a fishbone get stuck in your throat, you had to do an operation. And that only fueled my fea…

An open letter to the scared and confused dreamers.

This is a letter for myself. But this is also a letter for those who find themselves in the same place as I am.

I'm going to admit that life is different from what I initially thought when I was younger.

When I was younger, I assumed that by now, I would have reached or be somewhat close to the life of my dreams.

But now that I reach this point, I realised that I was wrong. I did not take into account that tertiary education took years. Personally, I don't regret my tertiary education because I did enjoy it. Yes, it was insane and difficult but it was fun and I met amazing people there.

It's been a year since my graduation and I find myself being frustrated. I felt disappointed in myself because no, I don't have my own apartment and no, I'm not rocking that cool ass job that I always  dreamed of. But no, I don't hate my job either. In that sense, I'm fortunate I suppose. But I feel that it may not be the kind of thing that I want to do.

However, for me, to get t…

Alter ego, SUIT UP!!

Man, it feels odd to have people believe in you at the very moment you do not trust yourself. It feels odd to hear people's praises of you when you're feeling incapable. So I guess, it's time for one of my many alter ego to suit up if I wanna win that debate competition!!

Like any other person, I have many alter ego's...and I'm gonna list most of them today.

Ms Drama Queen
Likes :Attention and spotlight. She's a diva.
Dislikes :People stealing her spotlight or not getting her spotlight.
She is : A real drama queen. She whines & complains alot though. She thinks that the world revolves around her.
Can't handle :Ms Productive

Ms Arrogant
Likes : Winning, winning and winning.
Dislikes : Losing and losers.
She is : A real mean arrogant person. She really doesn't care about the other people. She thinks she is the best. Mostly, she thinks that her opponents aren't even her equal unless they have proven otherwise. Even then, she still thinks she is better than …