Showing posts from January, 2018

My perspective on adulthood

This might be a long one and I am sorry.

I don't think adulthood is really that bad. 
But despite that, I won't say it wasn't hard.

As I have said before, last year wasn't a great year for me.
I was angry, upset and frustrated.
I was full of anxiety and fear.
I was a complete nervous wreck.

But that was because I was definitely focusing on the wrong things.
I was only looking at my unfortunate circumstances
And how they were disadvantage.

Compared to other privileged people, I was behind.
It felt like I had weights in a marathon race.
I was angry.
And it was easier to blame the world.

But as time goes by, anger just wears you down.
And I was getting emotionally tired.
Somehow, my rationality kicked in.
 And that changed my entire perspective.

I begun to realise that my circumstances didn't define me.
I begun to realise that just because I had weights tied to me, doesn't mean I can't slowly build the stamina to run just as fast.
Yes, I will take a longer time.
Yes, it will be ha…


2018 started.

And to be honest, since it's the beginning of the year and I'm determined to make it a good one, things feel good. I started reading again, exercising and even cooked a bit. Even attended an academic economic talk. So all in all, I feel like I'm starting out the year right.

That made me feel rather good.  

But then my boss called me to speak to me.

And she told me that she feels that I'm struggling. I guess I don't like this statement. The reason for this is because I don't want to give her a bad impression and it feels like she does.

I feel that I must change that. So I now, I tell myself, I got to do better at my work. I got to show her that I'm good for this. I got to be the best that I can be. So yea, in a way, I do feel motivated.

I must admit that I am lucky to have a good boss. She actually talks to me because she didn't want me to be frustrated or feel alienated since I sit far away from the team and I am the newest member there with th…

First week of 2018

Well, the first week of 2018 just passed.

And honestly, I think it started relatively well for me.

Although job wise, I'm pretty busy but I enjoy what I do at work currently so it's all good.

To think at one point, I was worried about my work getting routinely boring but now, I realised that I have so so much more to learn. So it'll probably take a while before my work gets routinely boring.

Most of all, I find that I enjoy dealing with data and all these technical stuff. It's kinda cool actually. So yea. That's a good thing. 

Atleast for now, I can tick job satisfaction off the list.

And today, just to start my exercise ball rolling, I went for a run.

I went to a park in the middle of the city and it's definitely one of my favourite parks to run it. 

Being in the city reminded me of how much I love the city. I am definitely a city girl. I was born and bred in the city. I have always love the vibrant city. I love how it's constantly moving and busy. Somehow I find …